[ she doesn't cry, but dear god, she really wants to. she can't cry real tears now... not when they're supposed to be having fun. but she can't control her expression as her eyebrows turn into knots, and she fights back a sob.

she buries her face on the pillow, and then nods. in a muffled voice, she says: ]

Some bad things happened to me before the prom. [ are you understanding this, merlin? fear not, she lifts her head soon after and just looks at her feet. ] Somebody I liked disappeared, and he showed up as an illusion later on... And I-- [ she holds back another sob. ] died.

The prom was a surprise event in ViViD, and I wanted to be happy because I didn't go to prom back in high school, but. [ she stops to laugh, then looks at merlin as a few tears roll down to her cheeks. she wipes it immediately though, letting the pillow fall to the floor with a soft thud. ] But I couldn't, because I couldn't even dance or walk around the gardens with someone I liked. I also wanted to be prom queen, to cheer myself up. That didn't happen, either.

I just wish my prom experience was more fun. I just thought that that night was something that's supposed to be romantic, you know? Something that you'll remember forever. And I still will, just in the wrong way.

[ it sounds like such a childish thing to be upset about, but when you do have fantasies of what something should be like and it doesn't happen, you'd be disappointed as hell, as well. ]