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It wasn't an insult.

[ and she won't stop saying it until he gets it through his thick skull. she really didn't mean to say anything bad about his hair. ]

Apples are cute.

[ ?!?!?!?!

then she just looks away, cheeks puffed. ]

[ Return of Squirrethena...

He freezes in place when she says that then turns away. It really has taken him these long five to ten minutes for it to sink in that she actually didn't mean it in a bad way. Who thinks of being called like an apple as a cute thing though?

He can't help it, he drags his hand down his face to laugh into his palm, trying to muffle it. ]

What kind of compliment is that?

What did you want me to say?!

[ in an attempt to hide how uncomfortable she is with this, she begins to play with her hair. her fingers run through her ginger hair, and as if she's forced-- ]

I already said you look nice.

[ Ah... this went in a circle to the start of this and last time he let her just move on. It's a bit difficult to do that now though, considering it's like there's an elephant in the room when she finishes with that and the only noise is the television playing the movie.

He sucks in a breath, which is probably ineffective as his hand is still covering his mouth. Other than that he doesn't really move, but his heart is racing now, thudding hard against his ribs and his lungs feel tight.

It hangs in the air.

He lets his hand drop, pulls up his knees to rest his wrists on the top. He can still see the tv through a gap but... this is more to cool his own nerves. ]

Thanks. [ It's still super silent, and really this might make things worse but. ] I had help. I needed help. Uh-- [ It's way too rushed compared to how he started talking. ] Apparently.

[ Yes, that's the word he chooses to end with. ]

You know, [ she clears her throat.

okay, she's trying to act confident to settle her nerves. she's already told him that he looks nice, but saying it again just felt stupid. and this is probably going to be one of those moments that she thinks about at night and it's the reason why she can't sleep. because she's a doodoo brain. ] there's this guy in the movie who gets a complete makeover, too.

[ YEAH, SWITCH BACK TO THE MOVIE. clearly the best way to get rid of the uneasiness in the air. ]

Looks like you can relate to this movie by a little bit!

[ no athena... why do you have to keep mouthing weird things... ]

[ Well the good thing she probably could tell from that is that it's something he likes to hear. He suffered a lot for this, Athena. Please understand that. Vietnam is a slave driver. ]

As long as it isn't the jerk, that isn't too bad.

[ Sorry he's just as useless right now. ]

[ it's not suffering when you end up looking fabulous in the end, though?!?!?!? ah... thank god these are in brackets.

she pulls her bangs back to show her forehead, and then she says-- ]

No way, you'd look like this if you did.

[ At the time carrying ?? many bags while being dragged from shop to shop it sure was suffering. But ah.

When she pulls up her bangs though he can't help but smile at her. ]

So the trick to look like a jerk is to have your forehead showing, or look like you? [ 100% teasing. ]

Hey!

[ she lifts an arm high up, a pillow in her hand. she's not going to hit him with it, though.

she pouts and embraces the pillow again, visibly annoyed. ]

I meant have your hair slicked back.

[ Even if she isn't going to he instinctively holds up both hands, just in case he needs to block.

When she drops the pillow to hug the pillow to herself he reaches for the corner of it, plucking it so it looks more square like and less like it's been squished to death. ]

I know. Sorry. For what it's worth you never look like a jerk.

[ Except for when she's hitting him. ]

I'm not a jerk.

[ and she tries to sink herself into the couch again. she feels stupid now. ]

[ Well she is stupid. Sometimes. But so is he.

Which is why he says something that will probably only make things even more awkward. ]

You're definitely not a jerk. Except for when you hit me, but I think we're even on that one.

[ Deep even breaths. Deep even-- who is he kidding there is nothing calm about this moment. If she's listening properly she'll understand that his heart and head are a mess of nerves right now. ]

You're too beautiful inside and out for that to be true.

[ Only he isn't looking at her when he says it, staring hard at the television so he doesn't have to see her expression because. Just.

Something.

How much time is even left on this movie? It's probably only been 30-45 minutes and they're stuck in the purgatory of awkwardness. ]

[ athena's reply would usually be something like "of course i am", but this conversation has set her in a Mood and she can't even bear to watch the movie anymore until this whole situation is fixed. until she hears nothing but a clear melody. one that's jovial, or at least nothing like what she's hearing now. ]

You're just saying that.

[ she's heard other people say it to her before, and their hearts definitely weren't making strange noises. ]

But okay.

[ Their hearts probably weren't being pulled into this weird mix of feelings where he wants to shake her for not listening and reading between the lines but also to go back to how they were sat before because it was warm and comfortable.

More comfortable than this, somehow.

He doesn't know how to make this better. Don't girls usually like to be told stuff like that? Don't they like gifts of beautiful things and being told that they're special? He doesn't know how this even sounds to her, but considering how it's messing up his head, he imagines it can't be easy to deal with. ]

Give me your hand. [ Is what he says instead, holding his own out, palm up. ]

[ she's reluctant now to even do anything especially reach out, but she concedes. she holds out her own, though is she supposed to put it on his? well, whatever. she doesn't do it, since she'd hate to assume. ]

There.

[ He gives her a look when she doesn't actually do it, and while he isn't offended like he was before, it hurts a little. Still, after a moment he takes her hand, pressing his palm to the back of hers and pulling her hand in. He doesn't stop until her hand is flat against his chest, over his heart. He looks her straight in the eye. ]

I don't want you to listen to whatever you can hear right now. I want you to feel this instead.

[ E m b a r r a s s i n g . ] If I really was just saying it, would it be like this?

[ His heart definitely sped up as soon as her hand was pushed against it, and as soon as he's done saying it he looks down instead. He has no idea if she's going to listen to what he's saying or not but it's worth trying. ]

[ she looks at him and his dumb eyes, and when he looks down, she's still looking at the same point.

she bites her lip then looks down, too, not really sure what she should be saying now. so she says nothing, but does what she's told instead.

except she can't ignore what she's hearing. the sound is different now. a bit up tempo, in fact, a bit too fast for a normal heart rate. though she doesn't exactly have to listen to it to be able to figure it out. ]

What are you nervous about?

Edited 2016-02-24 19:08 (UTC)

[ While she bites her lip, he ends up sucking his entire bottom lip into his mouth. It's short lived as he lets out one breathy laugh. ]

It's new. [ He breathes out. ] Everything is new, really. I'm a little overwhelmed, though I doubt many people really notice it. It--um--it definitely isn't bad quite the opposite really but I wouldn't have dreamed of anything like this at home.

You're warm. This--this--is warm. [ He gently squeezes her hand. ] I really don't know what I'm doing. My job--my destiny--is to save Camelot, keep Arthur safe while he gets all the glory and the girls so--

[ He just cringes a little at himself then. ] This is really weird for me to say, isn't it?

[ yeah, this has been an uncomfortable ride for the both of them. that much is painfully obvious. and yet... she can't bear to remove her hand from his chest.

when he tells her that she's warm and this whole thing is warm, she bites her lip again to hide a smile. she couldn't agree more. and she's always liked that warm feeling, even though it's terribly new to her. thankfully, it's merlin's heart that's being inspected else he'd start thinking athena's a loon for getting worked up and excited about this whole thing. ]

It's definitely not as weird as you.

[ ha. there. payback. SHE FINALLY GETS TO SAY IT. ]

[ It's definitely been a Ride. Three weeks of a long rollercoaster where he's still trying to get his grounding. It finally feels like it's stopped for a moment when she replies with a joke he's said to her before. Maybe it is a little true for the both of them, but it doesn't really matter at the moment.

Not when he's laughing, anyway. ]

Probably not, no.

[ He finally looks back towards her then, lasting a whole 2 seconds before he's grinning stupidly and looking back towards the television to try and hide it. ]

...Sorry for making you worry.

[ she wasn't worried, she tells herself, but that's definitely a lie

it's just that she wouldn't be able to bear it if he was uncomfortable around her. she hears him being happy sometimes when they're spending time together, but the feeling isn't always there. that's why it's so conflicting. she feels glad to be with him, and then the jolly sounds stop, and then she becomes uncertain of what to feel.

she decides to say nothing about being worried, though, and instead, replies to what he had said earlier-- ]

You're warm too, you know. [ it's a miracle how she's keeping a straight face right now. ] It's a really nice feeling.

I like it. A lot.

[ "and i like you too," she tells him in her head. that's something to say out loud for another day. ]

[ He just has a lot on his mind. They aren't that much different in terms of age, but ages as in years they lived in before differ vastly. The fact that she invited him here to experience his first movie says something for that.

He isn't only learning about people, but every experience is completely different from what he'd get at home. ]

That's probably the nerves. [ There's no way he has a straight face, it's too embarrassing right now for that. There are probably some things you should keep to yourself in a situation like that, but instead he says: ] My palm is probably pretty sweaty by now.

[ To prove a point he lets her hand go, to rub his hands over his trousers, using that moment to swallow hard. ]

[ you do that, merlin. athena moves to drink the rest of her juice, now with water since the ice has melted a bit in the glass.

now she feels normal. and it's good. she can't say the same for merlin, but at least half of the problem is fixed. more or less. she won't force him to feel better or anything, so she won't point out what his heart is saying for now.

they never ended up watching the movie. not that the movie is over yet, but even athena doesn't know why elle is wearing a playboy bunny costume now. ]

Out of curiosity, do you think that the only thing you should be doing is serve and protect Arthur?

[ because it seemed like it when he was talking about it. there's nothing she wants more from him right now but to get to know him better and understand how he thinks.

she's a nerd. ]

[ It helps him calm down, and once she's done with his drink he shifts to take his own. At least the inside of his mouth isn't stinging as much now. He reaches up to rub the back of his neck with the hand not holding the juice while he sips. He doesn't finish it off, but he does take a few good swigs of the stuff before settling it down.

It gives him the time to think. ]

I really don't have the time for anything else. I help Gaius--my master, of sorts? He's more like a father to me at this point though--with gathering herbs or even help him with his patients but. Primarily... Arthur runs me ragged.

[ That doesn't exactly answer the question, but it's a close... start. ]

[ she knows how it's like to work hard. though her own boss back in school was herself. she barely gave herself any time to rest since she was rushing that much to graduate. she also had to be at the top of her class, but that's just her being competitive.

so she gets it. somewhat. she doesn't know what it's like to be a servant or anything, but-- ]

Do you scrub the toilets?

[ because she does. at the agency. and it is the w o r s t. ]

Edited 2016-02-25 01:11 (UTC)

oh really

sweats

sweats just as much...

lays down

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62 hrs later i fix this tag smh...

smh?!?!?!?

I DO WHAT I WANT

FIGHTS YOU

Senpai don't....

a-ah.... how can i resist a plea like that /)///////(\

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