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[ she's reluctant now to even do anything especially reach out, but she concedes. she holds out her own, though is she supposed to put it on his? well, whatever. she doesn't do it, since she'd hate to assume. ]

There.

[ He gives her a look when she doesn't actually do it, and while he isn't offended like he was before, it hurts a little. Still, after a moment he takes her hand, pressing his palm to the back of hers and pulling her hand in. He doesn't stop until her hand is flat against his chest, over his heart. He looks her straight in the eye. ]

I don't want you to listen to whatever you can hear right now. I want you to feel this instead.

[ E m b a r r a s s i n g . ] If I really was just saying it, would it be like this?

[ His heart definitely sped up as soon as her hand was pushed against it, and as soon as he's done saying it he looks down instead. He has no idea if she's going to listen to what he's saying or not but it's worth trying. ]

[ she looks at him and his dumb eyes, and when he looks down, she's still looking at the same point.

she bites her lip then looks down, too, not really sure what she should be saying now. so she says nothing, but does what she's told instead.

except she can't ignore what she's hearing. the sound is different now. a bit up tempo, in fact, a bit too fast for a normal heart rate. though she doesn't exactly have to listen to it to be able to figure it out. ]

What are you nervous about?

Edited 2016-02-24 19:08 (UTC)

[ While she bites her lip, he ends up sucking his entire bottom lip into his mouth. It's short lived as he lets out one breathy laugh. ]

It's new. [ He breathes out. ] Everything is new, really. I'm a little overwhelmed, though I doubt many people really notice it. It--um--it definitely isn't bad quite the opposite really but I wouldn't have dreamed of anything like this at home.

You're warm. This--this--is warm. [ He gently squeezes her hand. ] I really don't know what I'm doing. My job--my destiny--is to save Camelot, keep Arthur safe while he gets all the glory and the girls so--

[ He just cringes a little at himself then. ] This is really weird for me to say, isn't it?

[ yeah, this has been an uncomfortable ride for the both of them. that much is painfully obvious. and yet... she can't bear to remove her hand from his chest.

when he tells her that she's warm and this whole thing is warm, she bites her lip again to hide a smile. she couldn't agree more. and she's always liked that warm feeling, even though it's terribly new to her. thankfully, it's merlin's heart that's being inspected else he'd start thinking athena's a loon for getting worked up and excited about this whole thing. ]

It's definitely not as weird as you.

[ ha. there. payback. SHE FINALLY GETS TO SAY IT. ]

[ It's definitely been a Ride. Three weeks of a long rollercoaster where he's still trying to get his grounding. It finally feels like it's stopped for a moment when she replies with a joke he's said to her before. Maybe it is a little true for the both of them, but it doesn't really matter at the moment.

Not when he's laughing, anyway. ]

Probably not, no.

[ He finally looks back towards her then, lasting a whole 2 seconds before he's grinning stupidly and looking back towards the television to try and hide it. ]

...Sorry for making you worry.

[ she wasn't worried, she tells herself, but that's definitely a lie

it's just that she wouldn't be able to bear it if he was uncomfortable around her. she hears him being happy sometimes when they're spending time together, but the feeling isn't always there. that's why it's so conflicting. she feels glad to be with him, and then the jolly sounds stop, and then she becomes uncertain of what to feel.

she decides to say nothing about being worried, though, and instead, replies to what he had said earlier-- ]

You're warm too, you know. [ it's a miracle how she's keeping a straight face right now. ] It's a really nice feeling.

I like it. A lot.

[ "and i like you too," she tells him in her head. that's something to say out loud for another day. ]

[ He just has a lot on his mind. They aren't that much different in terms of age, but ages as in years they lived in before differ vastly. The fact that she invited him here to experience his first movie says something for that.

He isn't only learning about people, but every experience is completely different from what he'd get at home. ]

That's probably the nerves. [ There's no way he has a straight face, it's too embarrassing right now for that. There are probably some things you should keep to yourself in a situation like that, but instead he says: ] My palm is probably pretty sweaty by now.

[ To prove a point he lets her hand go, to rub his hands over his trousers, using that moment to swallow hard. ]

[ you do that, merlin. athena moves to drink the rest of her juice, now with water since the ice has melted a bit in the glass.

now she feels normal. and it's good. she can't say the same for merlin, but at least half of the problem is fixed. more or less. she won't force him to feel better or anything, so she won't point out what his heart is saying for now.

they never ended up watching the movie. not that the movie is over yet, but even athena doesn't know why elle is wearing a playboy bunny costume now. ]

Out of curiosity, do you think that the only thing you should be doing is serve and protect Arthur?

[ because it seemed like it when he was talking about it. there's nothing she wants more from him right now but to get to know him better and understand how he thinks.

she's a nerd. ]

[ It helps him calm down, and once she's done with his drink he shifts to take his own. At least the inside of his mouth isn't stinging as much now. He reaches up to rub the back of his neck with the hand not holding the juice while he sips. He doesn't finish it off, but he does take a few good swigs of the stuff before settling it down.

It gives him the time to think. ]

I really don't have the time for anything else. I help Gaius--my master, of sorts? He's more like a father to me at this point though--with gathering herbs or even help him with his patients but. Primarily... Arthur runs me ragged.

[ That doesn't exactly answer the question, but it's a close... start. ]

[ she knows how it's like to work hard. though her own boss back in school was herself. she barely gave herself any time to rest since she was rushing that much to graduate. she also had to be at the top of her class, but that's just her being competitive.

so she gets it. somewhat. she doesn't know what it's like to be a servant or anything, but-- ]

Do you scrub the toilets?

[ because she does. at the agency. and it is the w o r s t. ]

Edited 2016-02-25 01:11 (UTC)

[ Athena, is this really the kind of question to ask right now? It's even worse when you consider the time period differences. He coughs into his hand now. ]

You mean like the ones here? They... didn't exist. You probably don't want me to explain how that works. Hygiene definitely went up in the past 1000 years. [ He bites his lip. ] He does make me tidy his room, clean his armor and muck out the stables though, yes.

[ SHE IS JUST CURIOUS!!! :'( why is it wrong to ask questions. ]

Oh. [ she doesn't even hide her grimace. she has no idea what peeing and pooping was like in the dark ages, but she'll pass on knowing. ] Ick.

And you don't get any days off?

[ to spend in the tavern-- I MEAN ladhlafk ]

[ There's no way he can't mimic that. ] I have to say, it's a lot better here for that.

[ No wonder he's squeaky clean now compared to when he first got here. ]

And not. a. one. The only days off that I get is when I'm dying, actually.

[ NOT IN THE TAVERN....... ]

Dying. [ she has to repeat it before it the idea gets stuck in her head. she doesn't say anything about it, though, since he's still alive and everything.

so she thinks, anyway. ]

Well, at least you can have a ton of days off while you're here.

[ no... that's wrong, too. ]

So enjoy it a bit, I guess?

[ He raises both his eyebrows at that. ] You did see my memories, though I suppose you cut off part way through.

[ Not dead. Nope. ]

And I'm enjoying it right now, aren't I?

[ Yeah. ]

[ the images flash again in her head, and she has to rest her head back to make it all go away. but it doesn't leave, fully. widget changes from its default happy face to a sad one, crying in pain. ]

I remember. Your memories, I mean.

[ then she lets out a deep sigh. ]

And yes, I suppose... I hope you are, anyway.

[ With the lights partially dimmed it's easier to notice the difference in Widget. It doesn't take long for him to reach out, his index and middle fingers lightly tapping under her chin. ]

Look, if I can live through all that then you can forget about it now.

[ And Athena????? Really?????? ]

There's just no pleasing you, is there? Are you going to make me say it multiple times? Is that what this is?

[ she laughs through her nose, then shakes her head. she may have stiffened up at the contact, but she immediately shrugs it off. ]

I'll try.

[ while she's staring up at the ceiling, her sight begins to blur rather than focus on the light above them. so she blinks a couple of times for her eyesight to come back. ]

No. No. Sorry? [ is that what she's supposed to say? ]

[ Rather than dropping his arm back onto the couch, he rests it on the back, wiggling his fingers over the top of her eyes while she's clearly blinding herself. His hand drops back after, but he shakes his head while he shifts. ]

Why did you ask anyway? [ Yeah he's just brushing the rest aside for now. ]

[ ugh, merlin!! she swats that hand away. or tries to, anyway. ]

I just wanted to know.

I talk a lot about myself sometimes, so it's just fair.

[ Tries to, but then his hand is flopping down on her face. ]

Did you want me to talk about myself more? [ His hand sure is just staying there -- ~~thankfully this isn't the point Ai walks in.~~ ]

[ he holds him on his wrist and to lift the hand up to stare at his palm. ]

Only if you want to. [ a beat. ] I mean, that's why you have friends. So you can talk to them about what you're going through.

[ His hand kind of flip flops for a moment before he gives up, though he does keep his eyes on that. ]

It's not something I'm used to. [ He clears his throat. ] I wouldn't even know where to start.

[ she lets go of his wrist, and shifts in her seat to sit down properly. then she looks at him, a gentle smile on her face. ]

Well, it wouldn't make sense if you just started talking. Just- [ she looks up again, and then shrugs her shoulders. ] this is more difficult than I thought.

But it does feel nice to get to know someone you trust, right?

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62 hrs later i fix this tag smh...

smh?!?!?!?

I DO WHAT I WANT

FIGHTS YOU

Senpai don't....

a-ah.... how can i resist a plea like that /)///////(\

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