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I won't take long, okay?

[ she lets go of his hand and gently pushes him onto the bed to sit down. he should relax, more than anything. he doesn't deserve all this...

she even gets one of the plushies and puts it on his lap for him to hold. it isn't athena, but it should hopefully help. ]

[ He just flops back without question honestly, eyes unfocusing a bit by the time she pushes a plushie onto his lap and he has to move his hands to ensure it doesn't fall. He just looks bewildered that it exists, in a way. Like nothing is quite adding up in his head anymore after all the violence that just went on.

By the next day he'll probably be able to act like nothing happened (to some extent, anyway, a week at least he'll be back to normal) but right now he looks like he's gone to hell and back. Ah. ]

Alright. [ It's all he says as he just stares down at his hands resting over the plushie, his sword probably dropped on her bedroom floor somewhere. Forgotten. ]

[ athena turns, but glances back at merlin before she walks to the kitchen. while she did say she wouldn't take long, her movements are pretty slow and once she reaches the fridge, her hand just holds on tightly on the handle before she bangs her head on the surface and starts crying.

sorry, merlin, she's going to take a bit longer. :(

after a few minutes, though, she manages to heel and finally open the fridge. she moves without thinking, just grabbing the pitcher of water and a glass before she heads back to her room.

she doesn't say anything again, and instead just pours him a glass of water before setting the pitcher on her side table. ]

[ It's fine, despite wanting to cling on it isn't like he really understands the concept of time. Even if it's been longer because she's been crying he's still staring at that same spot of fake fur between his hands. He can hear water as it sploshes into the glass and that's when he finally peeks up at her. ]

Can I stay?

[ It's been hard on both of them, that's for sure. Right now it's hard to imagine leaving her side for a while yet. He just wants to listen to her heartbeat for now. To know that she's there. ]

[ she takes a seat next to him and leans forward to fix the hair on his face. it's so upsetting, seeing him like this. he doesn't deserve what he's feeling right now. what happened shouldn't have.

her hand just stays there for a few good seconds before she reaches up to kiss him on the forehead, closing in on the distance between them. ]

As long as you want.

[ He came here after waking up so he hasn't showered or anything, so his hair probably needs more help than that.

When she kisses his forehead though his head drops down against her shoulder, nuzzling in. ] I'll need to contact people later. Just. I just want to be with you for now.

[ her hand moves to embrace him again, her palm resting on the back of his head this time as she tries to soothe him. she bites her lip before saying anything, still feeling really bad for him. ]

Do you want me to do it for you? [ the contacting people, she means. he needs rest more than anything else. ] And... And I can probably get you a change of clothes, if you want.

[ He does shake his head at that, trying to not move too much just so he can keep close to her. But. ] No, it's okay. I should do it. Especially... [ But he cuts off then, jaw stiffening as he doesn't say anything else. ]

Okay. [ if it'll make him feel better, then okay. she'll just do as he says. ]

You should rest first, though.

[ He gives her another nod, but he doesn't know if he really needs rest at this point. He doesn't even know if he wanted to try and talk about it so instead he just kicks his shoes off and shifts onto the bed properly. He reaches to give her a little tug, indicating that he wants her to rest with him too. ]

[ she has no intention of resting especially after saying she'll take care of him, but laying down with him is another form of it too, isn't it? she doesn't want him to move or anything, so she crawls over him so she can get to the other side of the bed. instead of laying down, though, she just rests her back against the pillow and pulls merlin close so his head can rest on her side. if she can, she even curls her finger around his hair to idly play with it.

she hesitates saying something in case she might make him worry, but she has to, in the end. ]

I'm glad you're back to me.

[ He's eerily silent as she shifts over, but he trusts that she won't go away right now anyway unless absolutely necessary. When she moves back against the pillow and lets him twist into her, he lets out a soft breath, almost burrowing into her side. His hand shifts to flop up, resting over her heart so he can feel the thuds under his fingertips. ]

Me too. Sorry for worrying you... and breaking my promise.

Edited 2016-06-06 09:30 (UTC)

[ her heartrate is normal, at least, but it's definitely out if control if he could hear it. which he can't. there's so much fear, sadness, and anger going off, but she's brushing it off like it's no big deal. widget's overloaded at this point and has switched off.

a hand moves to cover his and she gives it a soft squeeze. ]

It's my job to worry about you, you know? [ she manages to huff out a gentle laugh, at least. she pulls his hand and places it on her cheek, nuzzling it. ] I won't let anything bad happen to you again. I really won't.

[ His in comparison is probably... eerily empty. Like he doesn't know what to feel. There are brief spikes between the same three: fear, sadness, anger but also a hint of job from the comfort she brings just by being close. But for the first moment while he listens to her heart, it's quiet save for a soft thrum of joy because she's alive.

It's an odd mix, that's for sure.

He peeks up at her when she pulls his hand up, before he looks across at the wall. His voice is almost inaudible-- would be to normal humans who don't have her hearing-- when he says: ] You couldn't have stopped it.

[ Though honestly she probably could have told them IT WAS OVERKILL ]

[ there's a reason why she said she won't let anything bad happen to him again. because she knows what had happened already happened. there's no way of turning back time.

her eyes are focused on his floof of hair as her other hand continues to play with it. ]

If you wear the bracelet you gave me, will it still work?

[ Well he doesn't really mean it like that either, but if Mars was shot down in one hit, he's still in the mindset that they would have had little chance either way. For all he knows the explosion was caused by a trigger. He doesn't know how electricity really works.

Still, he shakes his head a bit anyway. ]

It's useless unless I'm asleep anyway. [ It doesn't help when he's awake and his mind keeps replaying everything over and over, trying to work out when he should have done something different. ]

Then you'll wear it later, okay?

[ she doesn't even ask for his opinion now. she doesn't even know if it will fit him, since he said that he had somebody make it. not to mention, her wrist is much smaller compared to his. but... it's the thought that counts, doesn't it? she doesn't want him to have any nightmares. it doesn't matter if she won't be able to sleep properly. that's fine. ]

[ To be fair... it probably doesn't fit. It was made for her wrist and while he is a noodle, he still has wider bone structure in the joints etc. Besides, if he's here she acts as his own style of dreamcatcher. He's always slept better around her than on his own. ]

I can try. [ But what he means is... it really may not fit. ] I'm not really worried about nightmares though, I don't really dream much.

[ He isn't a seer like Morgana is, anyway... ]

I want you to dream of happy things, for the both of us.

[ again, it's not a suggestion but more of a command. not that she can help what he dreams of, anyway. but she'd really like him to be at ease. and if it can't fit, then she'll just stay up while he sleeps so she can be there to guard him from nightmares. ]

Um. Rei was here earlier... [ it's not the best new topic, but she may as well get it out there. ]

I'll try.

[ Though really he isn't all that worried about sleeping yet. Normally he just conks out and that's the end of it. It's when she mentions Rei that the changes happen, honestly. His entire body tenses up and he sucks in air, eyes squeezing shut. He doesn't know how much Rei would have told her, and even then she wouldn't know what happened after either.

That isn't the part that matters anyway. He doesn't say anything, but she'll feel the hand she'd put on her own face drop to grip at her shirt at her side instead.

It means she definitely came back, but it's impossible to ignore the jab of pain in his heart at the mention of her name. ]

I was upset when I found out what happened. I even cried on her. There were so many people taken and I wasn't able to save them... [ it hurts. she's failed so many of her friends.

she's failed him. ]

But Rei is fine... She was even more worried for me than anything. [ she pauses there to see what his heart would say. ] She's really strong, isn't she?

[ Her words hurt more than she probably realises, but he can't blame her either. It must have been just as hard, coming back to find that so many close friends probably didn't make it.

When she pauses though, she'll find his heart is probably going overboard on the sad side of things, like nails on a chalkboard honestly. ]

It... [ But he can't get words out, and right then he wished he could do telepathy like Hyoubu could. Just touch her and let her see his thoughts instead because his throat feels scratchy and dry. ]

[ she closes her eyes when she hears the sadness. it's so painful. has she been saying the wrong things this whole time? so much for taking care of him. ]

I-- I'm sorry. Should I have not said anything? [ would that have been better? she doesn't know. all she wants is for him to feel better.

and it's so much different from when she was kidnapped too. the sound of his heart despite how upset he was with himself sounded different. this is much worse.

she wishes she couldn't hear it. ]

[ It's fine until she brings up Rei honestly, but she probably doesn't know what happened either. It's impossible, unless Rei herself told her the details and he can't imagine that happening either. Rei had already said she was rather passive about it all, but-- He just shakes his head a little. ]

It's fine, sorry. ...Water? [ He definitely sounds raspier and he's trying to squash the feeling too but it isn't that easy when it's still raw. Sorry, Athena :( ]

Don't say it's fine when it isn't! [ her voice is much louder now as she explodes into a fit. she doesn't mean to, but he really shouldn't say something like that when his heart is telling her the opposite thing. it's a bit hypocritical in a way, but she doesn't even notice it. in her defense, she doesn't care if she gets hurt as long as he's okay.

as long as he's happy. not like this. ] It's not fine! None of this is!

[ she just yelled at him.

she just yelled at him.

she shouldn't have done that. ]

No-- I-- [ she pulls away from him at this point and moves to the edge of the bed. ] I am so sorry...

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