[ ...There's a long pause before he reaches for his hat that's still on her head and pulls it down again. Still, there's a laugh in his voice when he says: ]
Then stop worrying about the weirdest stuff.
[ With her eyes covered though he'll lean to kiss the corner of her mouth, feeling more than a little warm that she'd say something like this when it's all over videos she's seen. Baka. ]
[ she immediately tries to reach for the hat that's covering her eyes, but with a glass of wine in one hand, the task is a little bit difficult. ] I can worry about whatever I wa— [ and then there's the kiss, which shuts her up.
[ Probably best to put the wine glass down for that though, isn't it? She's left with just cold air for a moment as he reaches to put his own glass down first, then his fingers are curling around hers, gently prying her glass loose so it can be safely put aside. ]
I'm a little worried we're going to get red wine everywhere.
[ He says it so quietly though before his hand that moved the glasses reaches for her face again. This time when he kisses her it's on the other side of her mouth, but this time it lingers longer knowing that the wine glass won't topple over if Someone gets a little carried away. ]
[ there's a bit of a jerk on her end because she can't see and she's surprised when he's back to kiss her. that someone is probably merlin, by the way. ]
You're teasing, aren't you?
[ and that's when she finally pulls the hat up so she can see. about time she did that. ]
[ Ah, there she is. It was only needed for the first time he did it anyway, though her question actually makes him pause. ]
...What?
[ Does she mean because of his comment about the red wine? Because no, if he was still holding his glass he'd have probably dropped it all over the blankets by now. ]
[ It isn't as though he wasn't lying about what he told her on the phone that time. When he was drunk. When it was 3am and he was off his head thanks to alcohol. He's thought about things on and off, especially after the videos and talking about it. Her saying she wouldn't really mind. He finds that whenever it's peaceful like that and they could do that though, he can't bring himself to start anything.
It isn't that he doesn't want to either, if this quiet evening with his door locked is anything to go by. His fingers have brushed over his lip for the past hour as he thinks about how her lips feel against his. How she seems to melt into him at times. How her waist feels under his palm and how sometimes--sometimes--he might wonder about what sliding his hands up might be like.
She told him that he accidentally touched her somewhere before, but he can't honestly remember doing it at all. Granted, he knows it wasn't exactly a moment where he was conscious at all, but maybe his fingers would remember the feeling.
Even as he is now, back to the wall behind his bed, dragon plushie held tight and close as he thinks of her before he should be going to sleep, he tries to remember past the weaves of consciousness he might have had left because he can't bring himself to taint her in person. At least that feels what it's like.
He already asked Yu if he should say something before things went to that level, but it probably really isn't that bad compared to anything he saw inside the S&M store Okita tricked him into once. It definitely isn't as bad as where Leliana works.
Combining any of that just gives him palpitations though because the idea of Athena in any kind of saucy costume is--
--it's too much.
Their line of work doesn't necessarily help considering he can see some of the costumes at the back and there had been this cute rabbit one that turned out to not be cute at all and now he's thinking about it. ]
I'm so sorry... [ He whispers it to the air itself, pressing his hands to his face as he tries to Keep Calm and Carry On but it's impossible once the image is stuck in his head. Thankfully it isn't anywhere as revealing as what Leliana had been wearing that time he accidentally found himself in the strip club but given how Athena looks sometimes...
His mouth feels dry, even when he reaches over for his glass of water, finally flopping on his bed on his side. He can't get comfortable. He feels too hot. Like his heart is pounding so hard she might hear it from her apartment floors above from his.
He just stays like that for a long minute or two, breathing in and out, in and out, then he's reaching to pull up his shirt, hoping it might help him cool off a little (it doesn't help) ]
This is impossible. [ He sighs it out into his pillow. Skin brushes the cotton of his bedding as he tries to roll over again, facing the dragon and feeling as though he's getting 1000 degrees of judgement.
He bites and chews his lip, contemplates having a cold shower before getting back into bed. But. It's late. Really late, actually.
And it isn't like he's never done this before, but it's the first time an actual girl has been on his mind about it. His stomach twists thinking about it, about breaking her trust (is it that?) by doing something like this. It feels filthy when his hand slides down to cup himself and at first he jerks his hand away again. His skin is flushed and hot. Scorching to the touch.
Instead of trying again just yet, he thinks of the solar system, recites the planets to himself and tries to calm himself down with that, even if he's only thinking of that because of her as well. His bed definitely doesn't smell of her anymore, but the knowledge she's been on it doesn't seem to help matters as he shifts onto his side and slides his hand down again.
This time he doesn't pull away, but the shame will be there for days to come whenever he tries to look at her.
Ah.
This sure was a ftb jerking off session. yw Nikki. ]
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