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[ If he could have brought himself to wake up sooner he would have been here an hour or so ago, but... it's hard to believe in a sense. His head is still swimming, and all he can feel is guilt at how much of a mess she looks when she opens the door. His arms feel limp when she finally steps forward and pulls him into a hug, and at first he just lets his head drop to her shoulder, even if it aches because she's too short for this but whatever. It's fine.

It helps.

His hands finally move to hold her around her shoulders, holding on firmly to ensure she doesn't disappear.

There's only a second or two before his shoulders shake slightly, his teeth biting into his lip.

He only manages to choke out one word, muffled into her shirt: ] Sorry.

[ she doesn't cry. not yet, anyway. she swallows really hard to hold the tears back. if she can't be strong at a time like this, what will he think? she knows she has to be there for him. she doesn't need to be comforted. she's the one who should be doing the comforting.

her hold on him grows tighter as she gives him a squeeze. she missed him a lot. it hasn't been the same without him these past few days, and it only sinks in how terrible she'd be like if he does wind up in the nexus. ]

I'm sorry. [ that you died. she should have been there. they're supposed to be a team. they're supposed to protect each other, but so far, it's only been merlin who's been doing his job. she hasn't done anything for him.

she lets him go after a while, though, and looks up to get a better look at his face. her hand makes its way up to his cheek before she speaks again. ]

Come inside. I'll-- I'll take care of you.

[ He'd think she was human, honestly, that it's fine to not have to hold your emotions back because that's never good. He just knows that he doesn't want to have to miss the contact for too long now, that she's warm and this. This is home. For all the talks he's had with people, it isn't his apartment he returned to, it's here in her arms and that's okay. ]

Don't-- [ He starts to say, but then she's pulling away. His head peeks up, but his eyes are already wet, struggling to hold back his own tears as his jaw tenses, eyes flickering up as he pushes himself to keep steady. His hand reaches up to cover hers. ] You don't need to apologise.

[ It wasn't her fault, in the end. She might have had that view, but if she'd been one of them who had fallen before he did, he wouldn't have let himself wake up. Simple as.

Though he doesn't say that, obviously. Instead, he just gives her a tiny nod as his fingers twist to curl with hers, refusing to part their hands. ]

[ in her experience, she didn't want to see anybody for a while and just wanted to be alone in the dark when she had come back from the dead. she doesn't know for sure if it's the same for merlin, but instead of leading him to the couch where they usually relax, she leads him to her room.

it's the first time he'll be seeing her room too. it's actually pretty big, and her bed is big and it's canopy style, and there are bookshelves all over. unlike athena's sunny personality, though, her room is pretty dark and the only lights that can be seen so far are the ones from her lampshade and the stars all over the walls.

and dolphins. let's not forget the massive amount of dolphin plushies all around the room. ]

You can stay here. [ she moves one of the plushies on her bed to make space so merlin can lay down for a while. ] Do you want some water? Tea?

[ He doesn't know what he wants, honestly. The anger dispersed after they overpowered the robot enough to explode the prison to the ground, taking themselves with it. Now he just feels... at a loss. Like he can't quite catch his mind up to what happened in there. He can't even pay attention to her room, though later the stars will probably be soothing.

Right now? His hand just tightens on hers. ] You're going?

[ ... or not. ]

I-- [ okay, maybe that wasn't the best idea? she isn't mind reader here, but when his hold on her tightens, she thinks that leaving him even for just a few seconds isn't something that he wants. alright, then. ] I don't have to. I'm sorry.

[ He doesn't get why she's apologising for it, especially when he thinks it over, trying to think clearly when his head feels like cotton wool. It's mostly because he's struggling to not think about everything, even if he can't help it. He just shakes his head lightly. ]

I should probably... water?

[ He could just make it himself so she doesn't have to leave, but at least this way it'd be cold. He hasn't drank in days, but he didn't really need to. ]

I won't take long, okay?

[ she lets go of his hand and gently pushes him onto the bed to sit down. he should relax, more than anything. he doesn't deserve all this...

she even gets one of the plushies and puts it on his lap for him to hold. it isn't athena, but it should hopefully help. ]

[ He just flops back without question honestly, eyes unfocusing a bit by the time she pushes a plushie onto his lap and he has to move his hands to ensure it doesn't fall. He just looks bewildered that it exists, in a way. Like nothing is quite adding up in his head anymore after all the violence that just went on.

By the next day he'll probably be able to act like nothing happened (to some extent, anyway, a week at least he'll be back to normal) but right now he looks like he's gone to hell and back. Ah. ]

Alright. [ It's all he says as he just stares down at his hands resting over the plushie, his sword probably dropped on her bedroom floor somewhere. Forgotten. ]

[ athena turns, but glances back at merlin before she walks to the kitchen. while she did say she wouldn't take long, her movements are pretty slow and once she reaches the fridge, her hand just holds on tightly on the handle before she bangs her head on the surface and starts crying.

sorry, merlin, she's going to take a bit longer. :(

after a few minutes, though, she manages to heel and finally open the fridge. she moves without thinking, just grabbing the pitcher of water and a glass before she heads back to her room.

she doesn't say anything again, and instead just pours him a glass of water before setting the pitcher on her side table. ]

[ It's fine, despite wanting to cling on it isn't like he really understands the concept of time. Even if it's been longer because she's been crying he's still staring at that same spot of fake fur between his hands. He can hear water as it sploshes into the glass and that's when he finally peeks up at her. ]

Can I stay?

[ It's been hard on both of them, that's for sure. Right now it's hard to imagine leaving her side for a while yet. He just wants to listen to her heartbeat for now. To know that she's there. ]

[ she takes a seat next to him and leans forward to fix the hair on his face. it's so upsetting, seeing him like this. he doesn't deserve what he's feeling right now. what happened shouldn't have.

her hand just stays there for a few good seconds before she reaches up to kiss him on the forehead, closing in on the distance between them. ]

As long as you want.

[ He came here after waking up so he hasn't showered or anything, so his hair probably needs more help than that.

When she kisses his forehead though his head drops down against her shoulder, nuzzling in. ] I'll need to contact people later. Just. I just want to be with you for now.

[ her hand moves to embrace him again, her palm resting on the back of his head this time as she tries to soothe him. she bites her lip before saying anything, still feeling really bad for him. ]

Do you want me to do it for you? [ the contacting people, she means. he needs rest more than anything else. ] And... And I can probably get you a change of clothes, if you want.

[ He does shake his head at that, trying to not move too much just so he can keep close to her. But. ] No, it's okay. I should do it. Especially... [ But he cuts off then, jaw stiffening as he doesn't say anything else. ]

Okay. [ if it'll make him feel better, then okay. she'll just do as he says. ]

You should rest first, though.

[ He gives her another nod, but he doesn't know if he really needs rest at this point. He doesn't even know if he wanted to try and talk about it so instead he just kicks his shoes off and shifts onto the bed properly. He reaches to give her a little tug, indicating that he wants her to rest with him too. ]

[ she has no intention of resting especially after saying she'll take care of him, but laying down with him is another form of it too, isn't it? she doesn't want him to move or anything, so she crawls over him so she can get to the other side of the bed. instead of laying down, though, she just rests her back against the pillow and pulls merlin close so his head can rest on her side. if she can, she even curls her finger around his hair to idly play with it.

she hesitates saying something in case she might make him worry, but she has to, in the end. ]

I'm glad you're back to me.

[ He's eerily silent as she shifts over, but he trusts that she won't go away right now anyway unless absolutely necessary. When she moves back against the pillow and lets him twist into her, he lets out a soft breath, almost burrowing into her side. His hand shifts to flop up, resting over her heart so he can feel the thuds under his fingertips. ]

Me too. Sorry for worrying you... and breaking my promise.

Edited 2016-06-06 09:30 (UTC)

[ her heartrate is normal, at least, but it's definitely out if control if he could hear it. which he can't. there's so much fear, sadness, and anger going off, but she's brushing it off like it's no big deal. widget's overloaded at this point and has switched off.

a hand moves to cover his and she gives it a soft squeeze. ]

It's my job to worry about you, you know? [ she manages to huff out a gentle laugh, at least. she pulls his hand and places it on her cheek, nuzzling it. ] I won't let anything bad happen to you again. I really won't.

[ His in comparison is probably... eerily empty. Like he doesn't know what to feel. There are brief spikes between the same three: fear, sadness, anger but also a hint of job from the comfort she brings just by being close. But for the first moment while he listens to her heart, it's quiet save for a soft thrum of joy because she's alive.

It's an odd mix, that's for sure.

He peeks up at her when she pulls his hand up, before he looks across at the wall. His voice is almost inaudible-- would be to normal humans who don't have her hearing-- when he says: ] You couldn't have stopped it.

[ Though honestly she probably could have told them IT WAS OVERKILL ]

[ there's a reason why she said she won't let anything bad happen to him again. because she knows what had happened already happened. there's no way of turning back time.

her eyes are focused on his floof of hair as her other hand continues to play with it. ]

If you wear the bracelet you gave me, will it still work?

[ Well he doesn't really mean it like that either, but if Mars was shot down in one hit, he's still in the mindset that they would have had little chance either way. For all he knows the explosion was caused by a trigger. He doesn't know how electricity really works.

Still, he shakes his head a bit anyway. ]

It's useless unless I'm asleep anyway. [ It doesn't help when he's awake and his mind keeps replaying everything over and over, trying to work out when he should have done something different. ]

Then you'll wear it later, okay?

[ she doesn't even ask for his opinion now. she doesn't even know if it will fit him, since he said that he had somebody make it. not to mention, her wrist is much smaller compared to his. but... it's the thought that counts, doesn't it? she doesn't want him to have any nightmares. it doesn't matter if she won't be able to sleep properly. that's fine. ]

[ To be fair... it probably doesn't fit. It was made for her wrist and while he is a noodle, he still has wider bone structure in the joints etc. Besides, if he's here she acts as his own style of dreamcatcher. He's always slept better around her than on his own. ]

I can try. [ But what he means is... it really may not fit. ] I'm not really worried about nightmares though, I don't really dream much.

[ He isn't a seer like Morgana is, anyway... ]

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