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[ if she was wearing widget, he'd totally blurt out that she just wants to kiss him. thank god that he isn't around her neck right now. ]

What? Chicken?

[ she's nose to nose with him at this point, too. ]

[ She can??? just do that?? This is only making him actually feel a little insecure because it isn't as though he's really ever kissed anyone else.

He has no idea about her.

It's a rarity that he feels anything close to insecurity too and considering how close she is all he can do is tilt his face away. ]

I didn't say that.

[ that's her cue that she's being way too forward. so she rolls on her back until she's about a feet away from him. ]

Just kidding. I just wanted to kiss you. It's- so warm... and [ so much fun. . . ] it's such a good feeling. I like it.

I like you.

[ how many times can she confess in one day? ]

[ He didn't ask for that? He isn't quick enough to catch her before she goes and rolls away and suddenly it's cold. Slowly his head rolls to look at her, and he knows, he knows she gets too overzealous, that even that time before she tried to make something else into a competition that to him wasn't something should be put like that and just.

It's just a misunderstanding. ]

Then just say that. Next time, just say that. [ He lets out a breath, relieved and also trying to dispel any tension that momentary worry cooked up. Once she's in place, and once he's sorted himself out, he twists until he can lean on his elbow to look down at her, it's only brief before he leans to close the distance. It's still a bit hesitant, but it's slow and gentle. Cautious. ]

[ she's not mad at him or anything, but it has dampened her mood. she's an attorney, which means words to mean everything, but it would be nice if she didn't have to say things out loud all the time just to convey what she feels.

it's unfair. it was never like this with ryuko or with ai. they always knew what was up...

then again, these two - they barely know each other. it's something that they really should fix.

she looks up at the galaxies instead of looking at him, thinking about how stupid she can be at times. and because of that, she blurts out a : ] Sorry.

[ The problem wasn't that she had to say something, it's just that she used different words that are against what he's used to. He shifts to just press his face against her shoulder. He doesn't know how to say it or how to explain it, or at least the words. They really do need to start opening up, or ... he does. Maybe. ]

It isn't something you need to apologise it's just... [ His arm tucks under his head, forehead still against her arm. This is hard. ] When... Where I'm from it's different.

And. [ They need Jesus. ]

I've only been kissed once before and that was just because they thought I was dead. It was relief. [ He laughs faintly, this is so weird to say aloud. ] I'm just doing what feels right, I don't really know... I mean does anyone really know at first what you're supposed to do?

[ they truly need jesus...

athena doesn't move from where she is, a bit disappointed in herself after all. she does close her eyes instead, watching the remains of what she's seen of the galaxies as the images in her head slowly dissipate. and then she sighs. when she speaks, her voice is a bit louder this time. ]

Nobody really knows... they just follow their instinct.

[ and another sigh. ]

Look... I'm sorry, maybe - maybe I'm just being too much. And I'm not letting you adjust properly.

[ Or maybe he just does, because things have changed now. People don't court another for even years and they don't dive right into marriage, and not every relationship is a great love. Even this, even if they blur a lot of lines it isn't quite there and maybe that's why he's uncertain about everything.

It isn't like Arthur and Guinevere, which is what he's seen. What he knows.

What he probably wants.

It isn't that he thinks it's impossible, but trying to get a middle ground is hard and he feels like he keeps stumbling. The fact that he felt offended that kissing could be used as a means of gaining the upper hand against someone, where you could be better than them and that even mattering... it shows a lot of what it means to him.

He wants to kiss her, of course he does, he'd spend all day doing it if he could but.

He just lets out a long breath against her, saying softly, sadly: ] I'm trying.

[ she hears that hint of sadness. she can't not hear it when everything is so silent. so she rolls over on her front this time and looks at him in an attempt to lighten the mood. ]

Sorry.

[ that wasn't it. ]

Do you want to see the planets on Earth? I'm sure there's a setting somewhere.

[ He shakes his head, though it's only against his arm as his eyes dip to the floor. ] You don't need to apologise.

[ His arm shifts, stretching out a bit as he reaches for her arm, sliding it up towards her hand. He rolls onto his side properly, squeezes her hand once. ]

Just stay with me. [ He says it softly, quietly. ] I don't want anything else.

[ he's said it countless of times, but it always feels so warm, and it makes her feel so giddy whenever he tells her to stay with him.

she wonders why that is.

her voice goes hushed again. it makes their little bubble more special. ]

Okay. I won't go. [ and she returns the squeeze. ]

Edited 2016-03-18 02:18 (UTC)

[ He does, at least, give her a smile for that. It's only small, but uterrly genuine. Like even if he's still struggling through this, there isn't anywhere else he'd rather be and he wishes she'd understand that. ]

Come closer?

Can I?

[ of course you can, athena. he asked. she doesn't wait for him to answer but she does roll over closer to him again. tonight sure has been Something. ]

Better?

[ now that her hand is tugging on the side of his jacket, anyway. ]

[ Well, he didn't burst into tears like someone, so it's fine. She just needs to remember ye olde days were a lot more conservative and ... just different.

As soon as she rolls closer though he's shifting to drape his arm over her waist, pressing his hand against her back. ]

Much [ She should be able to hear it too, that the sadness is definitely disappearing and changing into something much more content. Just as he'd told her last time. ]

[ she does hear it, and it makes her feel a lot better. it's strange how sometimes it's the heartbeat that can make her feel better and not actual validation or words... but that's athena for you.

she shifts until she's in a much more comfortable position, lying on her side and just facing him. ]

Hey. What is it like, anyway? In your world... when you like somebody?

[ see? at least she's trying to understand now. ]

[ Well to be fair, it's probably the most honest reaction she's going to get from someone who, despite sucking at saying certain lies, can lie rather well. Or at least avoid the truth well enough to count as lying.

His head dips down a bit at her question and he bites his lip, but he tries to keep his eyes on her. ]

Slower. From what I've seen here, anyway, it's slow. It depends on your rank as well but ... for someone like Arthur if it's someone he shouldn't be with you have to meet in secret. If it's a match, to another Princess or something, one visits the other and discussions are had and treaties are made. Often there isn't any love involved at all.

[ It's easier to talk about Arthur first, he avoids mentioning Gwen, but still... ]

For someone like... [ me ] ...you'd take them out so many times, on picnics or on horse rides. Just talk. It would probably be weeks before you kiss and then maybe after a certain amount of time you'd... [ he looks up, not looking her in the eye ] get married. Different people would take the last step at different stages, I wouldn't really know how long.

[ she nods when he explains, getting a bit more of his perspective this time around.

she nuzzles up against him again. please give her the attention she needs, merlin. ]

Things are fast.... now, I guess. I mean, fast compared to how it is in your- Camelot. [ a pause. and then she looks up at the fake sky above them. ] First, it's just hand-holding, and then it turns into kissing, and then making out, and then people do- [ she clears her throat. this... this is hard to say out loud... ] the deed. [ hopefully, he gets what she means. ]

Some people get married right away, but it usually takes years for boyfriends and girlfriends to marry.

[ He's obviously read the word dating before, heard it... and looked up its significance but the actual step-by-step guide to how she (and nearly everyone else in this place, honestly) see how this works is a little... well it's definitely helpful but it's also hard to digest. He doesn't know all the terminology Athena is using, but he wants to learn for her.

To make this easier. ] If you love someone, why would you wait that long?

[ Ah........ ]

And... [ Well okay, he can understand the deed to an extent, but there's something else there he isn't certain of. ] What does "making-out" mean? Living with someone? [ Making it work out? is it short for that?????????? Modern slang...... ]

[ merlin, what a stupid question! she could go on and on about couples arguing or even pre-nuptials but... ]

Because sometimes, things may not work out. My father... he left my mother, you know? After they got married. [ it's a sad story, and her smile wavers a little. ] True love isn't real for some people.

[ the sad fact.

she cants her head at the question, though, and then she laughs. ]

No, silly! It's when you kiss someone deeply... passionately. . . [ and this has begun to be embarrassing for her, too. so she rolls to the other side to face the other way. ] And your hands move in places.

[ Well, really his father left when he was still really young as well but-- ]

My father left too, but ... [ It's hard to explain. ] it doesn't mean they didn't love each other once.

[ Though okay, how does she expect him to know this and how does her rolling over help anything? His arm is still curled over her and he has to slide it lower to make sure it isn't... too high. It's a lot more awkward on this side. ] Places?

[ What do hands have to do with kissing? Though thankfully he isn't asking that question aloud. ]

[ MERLIN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PRESSURE OF BEING ASKED THIS QUESTION.

christ...

christ!! ]

When... things get steamy, you'd want to do something else beyond kissing. Like. . . touching... each other.

[ and then she rolls around, flailing. oh my god that was so embarrassing LET HER DIE NOW PLEASE ]

Edited 2016-03-18 03:43 (UTC)

[ How is he supposed to know when he only has pure thoughts?!

Though even with how she's flailing around like a lunatic (no matter if his arm is over her and he ends up flailing a bit to try and free it) he's still not entirely sure right away what she means. ]

Touch...? [ Each other. Ea--

The fact that he goes silent probably tells her that he understands now. ]

[ so...

yeah... silence...

she'll wait for merlin to gather his bearings as she just covers her face from embarrassment.

she can't believe she just had to explain what making out is. ]

[ It's a very long silence as he tries to work out if he can even touch her when he kisses her now, honestly. There are too many blurry lines in this and he has no idea where is crossing a line so he just.......... keeps his arm flopped on the floor between them, staring at his hand.

It's probably one of his longest silences in his life............ Sorry Athena. ]

[ thank athena for being the most awkward ice breaker, then. ]

You don't have to- I mean— It's not needed— I mean. . .

[ what does she mean?! ]

Edited 2016-03-18 04:02 (UTC)

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