psycholawgy | post of shame

[ "Alive". He still doesn't get how that works. He'd considered magic. A spirit. Now it just baffles him. But he looks confused at her when she says that, finally finishing with a smile. ]

Earth magic. I wanted to practice where it wouldn't accidentally hurt someone. Nimueh did something once. I wasn't really with it... because I was dying, you know. But I could see what she was doing to Arthur. She made the ground collapse and I thought... it might be useful?

You can pull down your shirt now, [ she says as she finishes up, getting up to get rid of the cotton balls she's used in the bin somewhere close. shigeru likes keeping things tidy, doesn't he? hopefully there's a bin nearby.

she listened, though, but just doesn't know what to say to it. or how to react. except-- she does have a question. ]

So you were practising? Something like that?

[ He tugs it back on into place, this time letting the hood drop. The bin, thankfully, is just to the side though it has a foot pedal to lift the lid. ]

Something like that, yes. I mean, not only that, but the earth part of it was. ViViD isn't the same, you can't really feel the elements there in the same way. So it's more accurate to practice somewhere outside of it. Here.

[ He pulls out a set of wet wipes from the bag to offer it to her, just to get the antiseptic from her hands. ]

[ she takes the wipes as she sits back down, wiping her hands clean now.

she really wonders what it would be like to use magic, now. it must feel so different. while merlin felt lonely, if she could use magic, then that would be something else she can help him with. to keep him company. but alas, it's not something that can be taught - or so she's told. she'll never be able to learn, but at least this makes her continue to be astonished by the different things that he can do. ]

What else did you do there?

[ It isn't, or well it is but the grounding that a person would need for it... doesn't really exist here or he can't teach it anyway. Gaius probably could, but for Merlin it's always been natural instinct. With her hands cleaned up he moves to entwine their fingers, holding her hand.

The photo frame should be safe on the side by now, anyway, and glancing at that makes him smile faintly. ]

What else? The rest was probably similar to before. Though... I talked to Shigeru properly. Finally. We've talked a little before but not really about everything.

[ once they're holding hands, she rests her head on his arm, just kind of flopping there next to him because of how tired she is. but being with him is relaxing. she isn't so sleepy anymore, and it really does feel that her worries have gone away. ]

Boy talk, then. [ she says jokingly, though who knows, she might be right. ]

[ He lets go after a moment, but it's more to twist so his arm curls around her shoulders, pulling her into him. ]

I'm not really sure Shigeru is capable of that. He just mostly listened to me as I tried to sort out my thoughts, actually.

[ he's getting another tight hug, nuzzling his chest with her head like a baby bird, too. ]

I'm glad you got somebody to listen to you.

[ considering she. usually blacks out when things get real bad. ah... gomen, merlin. :( ]

[ It still aches when she shifts to hug him tightly, but he really can't complain when he's missed this as well. His hand slides through her hair, mouth dropping to press a kiss against her forehead. ]

Yeah.

[ He leaves it at that though, letting his other hand slide to cup her cheek, rubbing his thumb over her skin. He wants to ask if she's been sleeping badly, but maybe he's stupid for that too. Expecting her to carry on as normal or something. ]

Did you want to nap?

[ she does want to rest like this, in his arms. she doesn't even think about his condition or anything, though, but instead, asks this question instead. . . ]

You won't leave me?

[ because the last time she did fall asleep... ]

[ He feels guilty for that. Knowing he shouldn't have done it, but at the time he didn't know how else to fix it unless he started writing everything down to get it to her sooner. Now though? ]

Never again. [ He slithers down a bit, keeps his hand on her face as he tilts it to kiss her properly since before he left for the Labyrinth. This time, it's a lot softer, slower but deeper. The speed of it is actually a lot more sensual, more about trying to get her to see that he really won't leave her now. ]

[ never again... the words ring in her ears as he kisses her, and she melts into it, closing her eyes and cupping his cheek at the same time. the kisses she returns are much softer yet playful, like rabbit slowly nibbling on a carrot. this is probably the strangest comparison for it, but ah...

there's even more relief passing through her entire body now, though. if he won't leave her, then she has nothing else to worry about. ]

[ His lips part slightly to let her nibble, though after a beat or two he concentrates on her upper lip, sucking it lightly, flicking his tongue over the skin and this time it is teasing.

Really, he just wants to ensure she feels loved now. Especially after what he's put her through. ]

[ the teasing is a little bit annoying, mostly because she doesn't like being teased. she pulls away and just stares at him, though, the hand that was once on his cheek now resting on his chest, where his heart is—where the moon earring is.

aside from hearing how his heart sounds like, she can feel it beat, too. and it just feels all so real. and she's so optimistic that things are back to normal now. she has a better understanding of him, and despite all that, her own heart won't waver. ]

I can't sleep like this, [ a pause, and she just gives him an expectant look as if he knows what she means. that if he keeps kissing her. ]

[ Athena haven't you heard of foreplay-- no I'm kidding but there are things like this he still doesn't get. He licks his lips just because they tingle a bit now, but with her staring at him as she is... He doesn't know what she's thinking. It doesn't breed anxiety as it might have before though, just makes his heart pound even more. ]

It isn't comfortable enough? We can... uh-- [ He doesn't know what she means... ]

[ ugh, what a dollophead. whatever, she can just sleep later, but in the meantime, she pull him by the collar to kiss him again.

that day when he left, he may have initiated such a passionate kiss, but this is her turn to return the same kind of kiss back to him. there's no special meaning to it aside from a welcome back, and i love you; she just wants to kiss him and be around him. ]

[ Oh. Oh. Look, it's taking some getting used to, especially since he hasn't really had anything like this before. Being pulled in and kissed again like this is certainly making him catch up though. His hands drop to her waist, pulling her closer while gripping at her shirt with his fingertips.

Yet, he doesn't let it go too long before he pulls back to rest his forehead against hers and sheepishly adds: ] Wait, just a... second.

[ He chews on his lip, because he doesn't want to make this seem like he's... trying to push this too far but-- ]

Shigeru's... [ In his room. Probably doesn't want to walk out and see... them making out on the couch tbh. ]

[ she blinks a couple of times, trying to understand why he had pulled away before she lets out a soft: ] Oh.

[ a pause. ]

Oh.

[ ... should they move? or should they just stop?!?!!? should they just watch a movie or something?! what. . . do. . . ]

[ Shigeru probably (not really) won't mind if they leave two glasses of water on the table, right? Merlin reaches out to hand her the photoframe. ]

Take this. [ As soon as she's holding it, however, he's scooping her up and then moving to stand. His arms are a bit wobbly given the training he's put himself through for the past few days, but he holds her tight, determined to not drop her. ]

If we're going to nap as well, I mean... [ a w k w a r d. Athena please don't think he's just trying to get you into bed with him... ah. ]

Woah, wait, I—

[ ah... well, now she's being carried and she just holds on tight, not letting go of the frame at the same time. not that she doesn't trust merlin or anything, but it is a surprise!

he can bed her all he likes though nbd... ]

[ He's careful as he steps between the table and the sofa, taking it easy as he makes his way to his room. At the door he cheats a bit by using magic to activate it, doing the same to close it. If the glasses were empty it would have been easier to magic them towards the sink as well, but Shigeru may just have to deal if he walks out and finds them there.

With the door closed, he murmurs something softly: ] Learh fearnancai [ There's a soft clicking noise even if the doors are electronic, as if there's another layer keeping the door shut now. His kisses her temple before gently lowering her onto his bed. He doesn't get on as well just yet though, instead taking the photoframe from her to place it on the cabinet next to his bed. ]

There. [ Ah... he seems pretty pleased with it in place though u//u ]

[ she grabs a pillow immediately, claiming it hers before she rolls on her back and rests on her tummy. she looks at the cabinet and smiles. what she has in her own room is different, but this reminds her of it. ]

It looks nice.

[ He gives her a soft smile then, fingers brushing over the edge of the frame before he finally moves to sit on the edge of the bed. ]

It does. [ He glances back then, a cheeky smile on his face. ] I mean, you're in the picture, of course it does.

[ u///u ]

— um.

[ thank god she's holding a pillow, because she's burying her face in it. ]

You're such an apple...

[ His hand slowly reaches out then, trying to pry the pillow from her face. ]

If I remember right, that isn't a bad thing. [ A different kind of teasing... but god. Did he miss this. Them just being together, being like this. ]

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