psycholawgy | post of shame

[ this is probably worse than ignoring her tbh. even though she has ptsd from being ignored ah...

she does get up to sit next to him though, blanket still around her. she folds her legs and draws them closer to her so she can wrap her arms around her them. at first she sits about a feet away from him but she inches closer every second or so until her shoulder is touching his. ]

It's okay. You can have it all. [ she looks at him then, biting her lip. ] Have you had dinner?

[ Look, he's trying but the question that's bothering him the most isn't one he feels like he can bring himself to ask so...

Thankfully he doesn't flinch away when she wiggles closer, just stays stock still for a moment before his body sinks down a bit, his own head drops onto her shoulder. ]

I didn't feel like it yet, I just put the ingredients in the fridge.

[ she takes a deep breath then. at least him giving her contact is a good sign?! sort of... ]

Do you-- [ ah... she swallows and decides to switch the tv off. ] I really didn't mean to--

It's obvious you don't want to talk about it, and I don't know if you really are fine or not [ because when she says things are fine she doesn't really mean it so who knows if he's doing the same?! ]. Please let me make it up to you.

[ Sort of, it isn't like he's holding her hand or hugging her. He's keeping his hands firmly on the ice cream. That in itself is a sign he isn't really fine but. His eyes shut when she talks about it anyway, and he lets out a soft sigh of resignation. ]

Why would I want to talk about the fact that I made my girlfriend cry because I... [ He bites his lip. ] Did you...? Was I...? [ He swallows and then starts stabbing the ice cream with his spoon.

Then even softer, quieter: ]

I feel like I took advantage of you.

[ she wiggles in her seat a bit before resting her chin in between her knees.

at least he's talking now? she doesn't want to let this go until she feels better about himself. ]

That's not-- You didn't. You didn't. I just didn't know what to do. What if I started pressuring you again-- I didn't want that.

I didn't cry because of you. [ she really didn't!! ] I'm the one at fault here.

[ Because she wouldn't let it drop :( He doesn't want to... but. After she says the rest he pulls his head away to drop it back against the couch instead. ]

You weren't pressuring me to begin with, it's just... hard. [ He actually does flush just slightly because of why that is, but. Actually saying it. Well. ] Because you weren't sure about what I should do to... help you. Um. Y'know. So I thought if I researched it, it'd take some of that pressure off both of us...

It just made it worse, didn't it?

[ He doesn't know anymore... Athena this is such a confusing experience. ]

[ she actually has to reflect on that question. there's nothing he could do to make things worse. and it's why she stays still for a while before saying anything. ]

I thought I was. I'm sorry. [ she presses her lips together to form a line, unamused with herself. ] Thanks for thinking of me. You didn't make things worse; it was sweet.

... I just. Misunderstood.

[ He stays just as quiet, swirling the ice cream as it melts in his hand. He takes a mouthful while she's thinking, before finally glancing at her. His hand finally moves to brush away some of her hair. ]

Maybe when we first started dating I felt like it was too soon for a lot of things but. Not now. I'd be an idiot to not want everything with you. I mean-- [ Jesus this is embarrassing. If she looks at him, she'll actually notice he's flustered, mostly for what he says next. ] It isn't like I haven't thought about these things, I just didn't want any of it to be one sided. I just needed the time for my friend to get back to me as I wasn't sure where to go for... that kind of information.

[ she does glance at him for a split second before looking away again. this really is embarrassing, even for her, and it makes her laugh a bit. she hides it quickly though by covering her mouth with her hand, dropping the blanket on her lap in the process. she... didn't put any pants on ah. she got lazy. ]

Everything... [ she smiles then. ] I'd like that. If you'd have me.

[ She doesn't need pants-- wait. Though he does drop his head against her then, hiding it into her shoulder. His face feels so hot. ]

I'd-- [ He's too flustered... his throat feels dry and out of embarrassment he ends up laughing into her. God they're both idiots... ] I'd like that, too.

[ "Everything". That is. (incl. marriage tbh but she doesn't have to know that DGKGDSG) ]

[ she ends up laughing a bit too. but ah... well marriage has never crossed her mind until recently and now she's just even more in love with him because he's just so sweet. :( which is... ah... probably why he's getting a video at the end of the month. ]

Did you want to continue with the massage?

[ ah... what an invitation

]

[ Look ... it's a luxury few have back home because of the costs.

He ends up sucking in air at the way she asks that, I mean really the mood did get broken up a bit but now they're back to being comfortable with each other, more reassured that it was just miscommunication that was the error--

He licks his lips, tastes chocolate mint and gives her a smile in return. ]

Can I bring my ice cream? [ It's a joke!!!!!!!!!! mostly. maybe. ]

[ why does he keep doing this............. ]

Ah-- um. [ her eyes dart around the room and her eyebrows start going up and down one after the other. ]

... Is that what you want.

[ Slowly... ] It was a joke.

Like I'd need anything else.

[ u///u Now stop pulling funny faces?! He makes sure the ice cream tub doesn't topple over and puts it on the table. After he twists a bit, his hand that isn't as cold reaching to cup her face.

Then he leans in for a kiss, kissing the corner of her mouth. ] I just. [ He hovers there for a moment, kissing the other corner of her mouth.

This is embarrassing. ]

...want you.

[ she bites her lip then before she opens her mouth slightly to breathe out. she's pretty sure that her cheeks are so warm right now from all the blood going up to her face. ]

Me too. [ wait. ] I mean-- not me, I want you-- [ jesus.

she puts most of her weight onto one hand as she presses it on the floor while she twists a bit so she can face him properly. her other hand goes up to his shoulder before she kisses him on the lips this time. ]

[ His eyes dip to look at her mouth when he catches her bite it out of the corner of his eyes. His own face still feels hot, so at least she isn't alone. Her stumbling over it is endearing though, enough that the corner of his mouth twitches up as his head tilts. The hand on her face sinks into her hair...

and then he's kissing her back.

At first it's just focused on the contact though, but after a long moment there's a little more pressure and he alternates between focusing on her upper and lower lips. ]

[ her kisses are slow and sensual, and maybe just a tad bit teasing. she's trying to calm herself down by being slow with the kisses but who knows how long this'll last. adrenaline... ah.

she squeezes his shoulder gently, leaning into him some more just to be closer to him. ]

[ At this point they might as well just be teasing each other, testing to see who breaks the line first. His hand slides down until he caress her ear, breathing through his nose as he tries to keep the kisses going.

It's when she squeezes his shoulder and leans in a little more that his hands move. The first drops from her ear to her waist over the blankets, the other curls around her back until it can grip her top. ]

[ she flinches a little bit when his hand rubs against her ear and then her waist, but she's quick to ease back into it. it's then that she opens her mouth a little wider when she kisses him, each kiss growing more passionate than the last. it makes her shift in her seat all the more though until her entire body is facing him and she's on her knees on the floor. ]

[ When she flinches he freezes up, it's only when her mouth opens and she keeps going that he relaxes back into it as well. He's still a little worried she'll panic again. That he might panic. But this is okay. As long as they keep kissing it's okay, that's what he finds.

He slowly lets his teeth nibble on her lower lip then, flicking his tongue over the skin trapped between his teeth. ]

[ he has nothing to worry about at least. athena isn't going to panic anymore now that they've reconciled. and when he starts nibbling on her lip, she can't help but let out a soft groan in return, perhaps urging him to do more than that. ]

[ Well the groan definitely helps with that worry, enough that this time while his hands move to gently rub her arms he slides his tongue along her lower lip before slipping it into her mouth. All the movements are still slow though, even when he starts to explore her properly.

He takes his time, making it seem like he's never kissed her this deeply before. Really? It's just part of the build up. ]

[ actually going slow is strangely stimulating for her. it feels more... intimate, and she likes it. her tongue curls against his in her mouth, but she pushes herself towards him some more just so he can go deeper.

the hand on his shoulder falls by his upper leg though, just by his inner thigh, and she presses a bit there just because she's put too much weight on her other arm and needs to let the blood flow around her body properly again before it gets numb. ]

[ His breath shakes a bit at the contact, and it really is way more sensual to feel it like this.

He does jump slightly when her hand drops though, breath coming out faster because her hand is way closer than before and he's struggling to not think about it.

Starting this in the living room had been a bad idea, honestly. He already can't think straight.

Yet, he doesn't break the kiss, and instead follows her lead. Both of his hands move to her shoulders and to her neck then, fingers grazing her ears before they slide down over to her collarbones. His thumbs graze the dips of where it juts out under her skin, the rest of his hand just splaying out against her. ]

[ at least... ai isn't home yet.............. (unsure)

she doesn't do it on purpose, but her thumb that's on his thigh rubs at his jeans. and okay maybe starting this in the living room was a bad idea. she has no idea how to position herself and she's now a bit uncomfortable. she wants to sit down on him but at the same time she doesn't want to scare him or anything... ah.

her head tilts a bit to the side as she kisses him some more. though it's more like she's slowly slipping as the hand on the floor slides to the side as she slowly loses her balance. help... ]

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this is not a gagtag

WHY THIS

DSGSDGDSGSDGDSG

I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS

are you sure ;)

Very sure thanks

*¬*

Get out of here

:* :*

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